Divorce And The Innocent Victims
posted October 1, 2008 - 6:31amIs it becoming a style statement or what? Getting divorced has become the shortest route for one to escape his/her shortcomings and failures, personal, social and otherwise. In short I consider it an act of cowardice.
Two people meet, fall in love, get married and then one fine day, swoosh, it's all gone. Gone where, i ask? Was it ever there? How can you just give up on someone like that? Are you really giving up on someone else or on yourself? I have experienced the feeling. It was a music system. I just fell out of love with it and next day i exchanged it for a better one. But doing it to a cryin', talkin', sleepin', walkin', livin' person is brutal. To yourself.
The people involved directly, tell themselves things and manage but the children, if they are there, are the most affected. They are like innocent bystanders suffering in a situation taking place around them. What is their fault? I mean, you fooled yourself into believing that you were in love with each other and then again that you wanted to spend the rest of your lives with the other person and then went ahead to seal it with producing a child and then now, you just can't stand each other. Where has the child gone wrong?
No matter how justified your reason is for the divorce why should the child live through the agony and the fear of being unwanted, being abandoned, separation, depression, withdrawal etc? How can either parent deprive their own child the love of the other parent. It is not a matter of minutes or hours or days, the absence of a parent will be a permanant void in the life of a child. I feel sick to the core reading about parents who are divorcing and are extremely concerned about their children. Hello? If you were concerned about the kids you wouldn't be thinking about separation. And if you really did love your spouse even one bit, ever, you wouldn't be imagining running away at this stage for any reason. I have seen people keeping small notes, pieces of cloth and other tidbits just because they attach some emotional value to it. But a spouse, they are willing to kick out any time.
Talking of children, the innocent victims of a divorce, research has it that 64% of all children having gone through a divorce of their parents will suffer from some kind of psychological problems that include anxiety, sadness, moodiness phobia, and or depression, do badly in studies or be aggressive in their later lives. Still the 'concerned' parents have a reason which is more pressing than this to leave their spouse. Can't these folks see that their child's world will fall apart even before it has begun to take shape.
How can society be so tolerant of such people? Doesn't the next man or woman in the divorcee's life have doubts about his/her commitment, conviction and social nature. Let's face it, if a person has left one, there is no reason to believe that he won't leave the other as soon as he falls out of love, whatever that means. Shouldn't such people be subject to criminal courts for the crime of child abuse or harrassment or abandonment?
Personally I feel that a couple should be allowed a window period of a couple of years after marriage to make up their minds whether they are or not in love with the spouse. During this period they should not be allowed to have a child. If they want the couple can part ways during this period. Once a child is borne there should be a ban on divorce till the time the child is of an age where he can understand, relationships and their complexities and when he is ready to handle the trauma a divorce creates.

Comments
Forgiveness, Oh High Holy Laurenvork!
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And you apparently think it's appropriate...
&Laurenvork--Whose Choice? That of the Mark-Bearers, Yayyyyyyyyy
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And Now I KNOW Laurenvork Just Wants a Disagreement
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@R.M--Yes, & Bring Back Prohibition!
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I happen to think that if we
"I was/am 'an actual child
Ban Marriage
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@shawn&Lori--Marriage is a Remembrance of the Sacrifice
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@Laurenvork--Thank You for the Bad Example of 'Ad Hominem'
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